Something has to change, I don't like the way I feel or look. I know once I get on the right meds and I get some energy back I will be able to exercise. I'm really trying to keep the stress down and let me tell you it's challenging at times with 2 daughters that make stupid choices. My oldest decided on New Year's Eve she was going to do X. I get a phone call from my daughter on a monday telling me she and her friend had gone to the ER because they had bad stomach cramps and diarrhea. I didn't know what she had taken and she wasn't too clear. I texted my friend and was telling her about what happened with dd#1 and that when my friend R told me dd#1 probably had done X. WHAT!?!?!?
Come to find out my mother knew about it Sunday and took the girls to the ER. I'm not happy about that one, I don't care if my dd is "grown" and knowing my mom she probably felt it wasn't her place to tell me. The hell it isn't!!! She told dd that she better call and tell me.
So dd#1 and I were texting and I was furious especially when I found out X has meth in it. She should be glad we weren't on the phone talking or in person or I would've ripped her a new one. In text it can be hard to tell someone's demeanor and trust me mine wasn't pretty. I needed to calm down before I talked to her. I didn't want to get into a fight and cause a big wedge but yet I needed to get through to her.
I can't force her to not do that stuff again but I won't sit back and not help educate her correctly and hope she will take my guidance. I told her how scared and disappointed I was. She tried to tell me that she's done research....OH PLEASE stop being naive!!! So I told her what I know from people who have done it and a nurse friend of mine. I think she is more open to hear me.
Then dd#2 has been smoking pot and drinking a few times. Hanging around some people that don't make good decisions. It didn't help that my exh gave her WAAAAAAAY too much freedom and when I was telling my mom about what was going on I had to stop her from complaining about my exh and tell her it won't do any good, the focus is on now and how to go forward and not make the same mistakes. I'm very thankful my exh and I are communicating and parenting so much better. It makes everything so much easier.
I have definitely been doing a lot of praying for my girls. I know we all have our lessons to be learned but it doesn't have to be such a hard or distractive way.
It was cute though last friday I was on the phone with dd#1 and I had her on speaker so dd#2 and i could all talk. We laughed so much. DD#1 tried to tell DD#2 to not do stupid things, stop smoking etc. So #2 tells her sister I'll stop smoking if you do LOL. Now let me tell you I have never found cigarettes on #2 or they would be thrown away. When she is with me she doesn't smoke. I look through her things to see if she's hiding them around here and so far nothing.
I got my shipment of incense from matchlessgifts.com. I tried the temptress one, winter solstice. I really like them, I have a ton to burn and can't wait. I love the way these smell!
well i have a nasty headache and need to lay down. Until next time blessings, love, and light!
