Went on Oprah's website and saw that Steve Harvey has a book out. I read the article and am very interested in reading his book now. He mentions how a woman needs to have higher standards when it comes to men. Not to go to bed with them until 90 days or so. I will admit I am totally guilty of that. I haven't ever been one to sleep around so in 23 years I don't even cover 2 hands. I see where I needed to have higher standards for myself. I think that is where alot of this boils down to, is self esteem. I told my mom I think its an awesome time in the world we are talking about way more things and we are able to help each other. I hope and pray that I am able to talk to my children and tell them how important it is to know thier self worth, which is very very high. I want them to realize their body is a temple and not just anyone gets the temple.
Which brings me to my drama girlfriend in FL, the girl called me at 12:56 am saying how she met some 22 yr old and how I needed to answer my phone so I could take her out of doing anything stupid but now I'll just have to bitch her out when I call her back. HUH? You have got to be kidding me. Lord have mercy!!! This is the same girl who just 3 days ago said she wasn't having sex for 6 months, how she's tired of guys thinking she's easy, talking like a pig to her, etc. Uh hello when you have no self respect that's exactly how others will treat you. I love her dearly, we have been there for each other for 16 years and it'll continue to be that way. So when I talk to her I'm gonna ask her what the hell is she thinking and tell her to go read the books I bought her cuz she hasn't learned a thing!!!
I would love to write more but I have another cold and I need to lay down.
So let's see what will today's affirmation be
I love and approve of myself, therefore I have high respect for myself.
That sounds good. I think I'll text my girls that and tell them to write it 1000 times!!
Be blessed!!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
love drama
Went away this weekend, it was a friend of mine's daughter's bday party. The area they live in isn't so populated and is a big tourist area in the spring/summer/fall. It really is beautiful, so I was able to get refreshed. I needed that after working so much last week! I have 2 girlfriends that are total drama queens, there are times I sit back listening to them and laugh then are other times it exhausts me to listen. When I'm on the phone with one and the other calls wow that can be a bit much on me LOL. Most of the drama is their love lives. After getting off the phone with them I decided to watch a movie, I picked Something's Gotta Give. It got me thinking about Jack Nickelson's character Harry. He goes after young women and doesn't commit. After years of that behavior he finds Ericka who is more his age and they end up together. I have to wonder does that behavior really stop, or does he continue to have commitment issues?
How many stories I've heard about a girl falling in love with a guy she's been warned to be careful around. She wants to believe that he will love her, be faithful to her, share his life with her, etc. To put the icing on he says and does all the right things, then crash he starts treating her different or cheating or both. I'm fully aware that women do it too but most of the women I know don't.
Can you really judge a person by their history? My mom once made a comment that a leopard doesn't change it's spots. What happened to treating someone with love and respect? Sharing your life? Being best friends? To being commited? Having fun getting to know each other and building on it? Does it start with knowing yourself? It's no secret I've had 2 failed marriages. The first one I couldn't do anything about, he wanted out and well it ended. The second one I tried to talk to him, tell him what was missing and what I needed and for years he stuck his head right in the sand. Tried counseling, but it didn't work, he continued to stay in a rut. It wasn't just in our marriage but in every aspect of his life. He's a sweet man, he's got a heart of gold but I had to be the man and woman. There wasn't balance.
I've got some big decisions to make about my love life. There has always been something about this man, even when we dated 24 years ago. When we broke up a few times it was like the moment we saw each other again we were drawn together and started seeing each other. Which is exactly what happened this time too. He says all the right things but I'm sitting back looking at actions and there are some I'm not liking. He has been with alot of women sexually and the way it happened wasn't always the most moral way. There are more things but that's too much to get into right now. I happen to be friends with his daughter and she is JUST like him. He's not liking the fact that she is sleeping around, going to bars, etc. I told him why not, she is acting just like he did. He doesn't believe in "sins of the father". I mentioned we teach many things to our children even when we don't think they know what's going on. The more I sit back the more I see that his dad I believe had his share of women too. Did he cheated on his wife? Not sure, I haven't asked.....yet. He's always kept people at arms length and never let anyone in. I'm not like that at all. I love to talk, ask questions, learn, and let love grow. When we were first started talking, we were talking about our ex's and he mentioned how he and his first ex were talking just as friends once in a while.
A few months after we were seeing each other, his daughter tells me that he hinted around to her mom that he wanted to maybe get back together but when I came into the picture he dropped her like a hot potatoe like he did 24 years ago (not true). When I asked him about it he kept saying it wasn't true and trying to make it sound like his daughter was testing the waters or trying to start trouble. Well it never sat well with me, something wasn't right and well my spirit was screeching at me DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!! 4 months later I had to get an email address out of his email ( I knew the password). As it was still loading I clicked on contacts but clicked the sent button. I see an email to a woman he dated the previous year that was trying to still be with him and supposedly he was just ignoring her. So I looked at the emails he had sent and sure enough the daughter was telling the truth, he was emailing with his ex wife. When I confronted him about it he told me he was afraid to tell me because he didn't want me thinking it was like 24 years ago.
Let's just say I lit into him because the biggest thing that ticked me off was the fact that when I would ask him about things I heard he would get upset with me. I was like oh hell no you had the nerve to get upset and all this time I was freakin right........I told him not to lie to me grrrrrr
It's things like that, that make me wonder. I asked him if his mom or dad ever talked to him about when he was cheating on his wife, or was out running around with the boys when he should've been home with his wife and kids? He said no......not at all. Hmmmmmm, I know my mom sure would have plenty to say to me if I was doing wrong!!!
My mind is going 90 miles a minute. I love this man yet I have to wonder why? Am I in love with the things he says? Sure, his actions, most. Then I gasp.......I don't wanna drama in my love life!!!
Too late, #2 ex wants to get back together........Oh damn!!! Thinking about that scares the shit out of me. I love him but is it like a wife should love her husband? No, is it because we aren't ment to be together? Is it cuz I need a man not what I had? Calgon please take me away
I need a hot bath, a massage, and some tea.
How many stories I've heard about a girl falling in love with a guy she's been warned to be careful around. She wants to believe that he will love her, be faithful to her, share his life with her, etc. To put the icing on he says and does all the right things, then crash he starts treating her different or cheating or both. I'm fully aware that women do it too but most of the women I know don't.
Can you really judge a person by their history? My mom once made a comment that a leopard doesn't change it's spots. What happened to treating someone with love and respect? Sharing your life? Being best friends? To being commited? Having fun getting to know each other and building on it? Does it start with knowing yourself? It's no secret I've had 2 failed marriages. The first one I couldn't do anything about, he wanted out and well it ended. The second one I tried to talk to him, tell him what was missing and what I needed and for years he stuck his head right in the sand. Tried counseling, but it didn't work, he continued to stay in a rut. It wasn't just in our marriage but in every aspect of his life. He's a sweet man, he's got a heart of gold but I had to be the man and woman. There wasn't balance.
I've got some big decisions to make about my love life. There has always been something about this man, even when we dated 24 years ago. When we broke up a few times it was like the moment we saw each other again we were drawn together and started seeing each other. Which is exactly what happened this time too. He says all the right things but I'm sitting back looking at actions and there are some I'm not liking. He has been with alot of women sexually and the way it happened wasn't always the most moral way. There are more things but that's too much to get into right now. I happen to be friends with his daughter and she is JUST like him. He's not liking the fact that she is sleeping around, going to bars, etc. I told him why not, she is acting just like he did. He doesn't believe in "sins of the father". I mentioned we teach many things to our children even when we don't think they know what's going on. The more I sit back the more I see that his dad I believe had his share of women too. Did he cheated on his wife? Not sure, I haven't asked.....yet. He's always kept people at arms length and never let anyone in. I'm not like that at all. I love to talk, ask questions, learn, and let love grow. When we were first started talking, we were talking about our ex's and he mentioned how he and his first ex were talking just as friends once in a while.
A few months after we were seeing each other, his daughter tells me that he hinted around to her mom that he wanted to maybe get back together but when I came into the picture he dropped her like a hot potatoe like he did 24 years ago (not true). When I asked him about it he kept saying it wasn't true and trying to make it sound like his daughter was testing the waters or trying to start trouble. Well it never sat well with me, something wasn't right and well my spirit was screeching at me DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!! 4 months later I had to get an email address out of his email ( I knew the password). As it was still loading I clicked on contacts but clicked the sent button. I see an email to a woman he dated the previous year that was trying to still be with him and supposedly he was just ignoring her. So I looked at the emails he had sent and sure enough the daughter was telling the truth, he was emailing with his ex wife. When I confronted him about it he told me he was afraid to tell me because he didn't want me thinking it was like 24 years ago.
Let's just say I lit into him because the biggest thing that ticked me off was the fact that when I would ask him about things I heard he would get upset with me. I was like oh hell no you had the nerve to get upset and all this time I was freakin right........I told him not to lie to me grrrrrr
It's things like that, that make me wonder. I asked him if his mom or dad ever talked to him about when he was cheating on his wife, or was out running around with the boys when he should've been home with his wife and kids? He said no......not at all. Hmmmmmm, I know my mom sure would have plenty to say to me if I was doing wrong!!!
My mind is going 90 miles a minute. I love this man yet I have to wonder why? Am I in love with the things he says? Sure, his actions, most. Then I gasp.......I don't wanna drama in my love life!!!
Too late, #2 ex wants to get back together........Oh damn!!! Thinking about that scares the shit out of me. I love him but is it like a wife should love her husband? No, is it because we aren't ment to be together? Is it cuz I need a man not what I had? Calgon please take me away
I need a hot bath, a massage, and some tea.
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