I can't believe it's the end of 2011. I look back at the year and wonder where the time has gone. The days go by so fast. I don't want to look back on my life and wonder what I've done. At least I'm losing weight, feeling better, working toward a better marriage. At least I hope a better marriage. Been seeing a counselor and I think she will be able to get through to the hubby better than the last 2. However I find myself getting irritated, why? Because I see the same old patterns happening. If you want to get out of a rut, to have things change and get better work has to be done. It takes two to have a marriage but it also takes one to ruin it. Hubby has an issue that is his, but it affects me and my children. I HATE this issue, it's been around far too long and I want it gone NOW. I know I have to be patient. But after dealing with it for 12 years my patience has worn very very thin. Last time we were at the counselor, she asked hubby if he had done any research, reading, etc on his issue? His answer? No, it's been busy at work, it's the holiday.............all I hear is blah blah blah EXCUSES, it's the same tactic to not deal! UGH. I said I was irritated....
She noticed right away the look on my face and I told her honestly it is all excuses, he could get up to get our son off to school, do some "him" time, get ready for work, he could do reading online from his phone when it's slow at work, or when he gets home. It's not a priority bottom line
Just like me with wanting to lose weight, I have to put forth the effort, I have to make changes, or nothing will get better for me. It's all up to me, I have read a ton about my health issues, i know what I need to eat and what not to eat, I know my body's limitations, I know what exercises I can do, I have to get off my ass and do it bottom line.
Had a few issues come up with my son, he has taken up lying, touching things that aren't his without permission, when he's asked to do something he has to do it right away or he forgets. I have such a hard time with the lying. My #2dd made cupcakes and before I went to work, I counted how many there were. When I came home there were 3 missing, I asked son about it and he said he only had one. I asked hubby if he had any, he said no, I asked #2dd she said no she was sleeping. I noticed there were 3 cupcake wrappers in the garbage, so I called my son over and asked him where those came from? He swore up and down he didn't know. I guess the cats each had a cupcake too. So I told him to go to his room so he can think about what it means to lie and what lying does.
He finally said he actually had 2 cupcakes.....and the third? UGH!!! On Wednesday he was watching American Dad, he knows he's not allowed to watch that, so he now isn't allowed to watch tv unless I'm able to see what he's watching, he's gotten the computer taken away, he made a youtube account after I told him no many times over the last 4 months. I'm not a happy mama to say the least. I think hubby and I need to have a lovely talk and he needs to stress to our son the importance of no lying and not doing things behind our backs. I think part of the consequences is some deep cleaning!!!
Work was quite easy this week, it was optional week so we didn't have very many children. I miss my own class, I can't wait till Monday to see them again. I'm getting my lesson plans all set for January, I love the fact that my assistant is quite talented, I gave her the bulletin board to do each month. I wonder what she'll do for January? 2 of my friends had their babies on my son's birthday, that is so awesome. Now I have to wait till my Assistant goes to the Dr. and finds out her due date. I am so happy for her. I know she was concerned she might not get pregnant. She and her husband got married in June, bought their house over a year ago, and now a blessing on the way. She deserves every bit of that happiness.
I've still not having dairy anymore and my muscles and joints aren't sore anymore. I'm amazed at how food can affect your body. My son isn't able to have whole milk it messes with his stomach, I have a feeling he too needs to limit his dairy!! I've noticed dark circles under my eyes, can I just say not liking that one bit. I read putting raw potato on it will help. So I'm going to see if that works. I've been putting cold spoons on it before I leave for work in the morning lol it helps and there's no puffiness :)
#2dd's hair is fried, she keeps dying it when she goes to her dad's and it's looking unhealthy. I was at Ulta (dangerous place for me) and bought some Macadamia nut oil deep repair masque for her to use. It smells really good and her hair is looking much better, she's done 2 masks and I also got her the leave in conditioner.
Well I'm feeling a bit fatigued and blah, I'm going to lay down and hopefully get rid of it so I can enjoy so fun with my family later as we bring in the new year. Be blessed
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
The Holidays begin
Went to my sister's for Thanksgiving yesterday. The meal was good. She had to take out her love seat so she could put the table in the living room to fit us all in there lol. I noticed she is keeping the house cleaner. That isn't a judgmental statement at all. See my sister for many years kept her home filthy and cluttered, I know having 5 children is work especially when one is autistic but the kids weren't the issue. I really wonder if my sister has ADD, when they say people that have ADD have a hard time finish projects, being organized, etc that is my sis. Not only that I think she went through a rough period in life where she wasn't happy with herself. Over the last 2 years she's repainted the house and redid the bathroom, been keeping it cleaner. One thing is you have to constantly get rid of things you don't use and in a way my sister is a mild hoarder. If she got rid of the garbage she doesn't use, her home wouldn't be so cluttered and she would also feel better. She's been taking good steps and I'm happy for her.
Her stepdaughters were there too, after they left I noticed they didn't clean up their dishes or anything. That was a bit sad for me so I started to clear the dirty dishes off the table, scrapped and rinsed them. I noticed my son immediately did that after he was finished eating, it made my heart proud, because when he goes to someone else's home I want him to have good manners and clean up after himself or at least offer to help clean up. Plus why should my sister have to cook the meal and clean everything up?
Although when I got up this morning I noticed my son has 2 sets of dirty socks on the livingroom floor.
He's a lot like I am, he gets home and off come the shoes and socks :).
I've been feeling the need to get connected with church, community, something. I googled soup kitchens around here and I found a church that needs help when they volunteer at the soup kitchen here. Perfect that would be a good thing to do and hopefully the kids can come with to help out and see what helping each other out is. I'm one that believes in helping out but also working for what you have.
I have seen waaaaaaaaaaay too many people think because they want something they should have it handed to them. What happened for working toward the things you want? Being thankful for your family, friends, home, car, job, etc? I'm not one for the entitlement mentality.
I looked over the churches beliefs and such. There is one thing they feel the law in Az is wrong. That I fully disagree on. I lived there I know what the state is life and what it's become because of immigration issues. It has done nothing but get worse and now you see the killing. A country has rules and you have to follow them, if not then why bother. Sure come here illegally, don't pay taxes, get free healthcare, etc but we have so many that are citizens that are hurting. My grandparents came here from Italy, they worked hard and provided well for their family when they had children. They had to learn English and they paid taxes, paid for their healthcare, saved for their retirement.
I'm one of those in the lower middle class, if I didn't have a husband I would be in trouble. I do think when you looks at wages, prices of food, housing, gas, utilities, etc. It's not as easy to turn 18 and get out on your own anymore. I think we need to get back to easier times. My grandma told me 20 years ago, honey I don't know how you young kids do it, the way the prices are and the wages it's no wonder we are having more and more problems.
Seems to me that should be looked at too, is going to college the answer? I don't think so, that is just another money maker/ debt causer. How much money does it take to get the education? Most of our jobs have left the US so then you have all this debt. Yet customer service has gone way down, there doesn't seem to be pride in one's job.
I don't make a lot of money in my job but I'm giving back to the community, to humanity, how? because I take care of children. Oh wow I do contribute :)
I was a stay at home mom on and off with my 3 children. It was important to me that when they were with me, and now that they are in school I want to be home with they are done at school. It broke my heart when I had to put my son at 7 months old in daycare, I hated it. It was so hard to get off work, get him and his sister, hurry home because my oldest was home and had dinner started for me, finish dinner, help with homework, get them bathed, then bedtime. Not very much time with them. So I went part time and when they get out of school mom is there, with a yummy snack, asking how their day was, way more time with them. So then I did daycare out of my home for 5 years. I wanted to give parents piece of mind that when they went to work, their child was safe, loved, and having fun.
Now that I'm in a center, we still provide that. I love each and every child that has been in my class or is in my class. I become close with the parents to help them make life easier. I have one little boy that can be a stinker to his mom, he'll kinda cop an attitude and won't speak to her when she leaves. I tell him that makes mom sad when he's rude and doesn't say bye to mom. She's a very good mommy who does a lot for him like cook, clean, get him toys, a nice home, but most of all she gives hugs, kisses, and loves him so much.
I know saying bye is hard for kids to do at first but because we create such a fun loving atmosphere most now give hugs and kisses and we've also taught them to tell mom and dad to have a good day. What a great thing to hear your child say and you keep it as you drive to work.
So I love my job, I take great pride in it. I have had some schooling but most of my knowledge came from loving children, mothers instinct, and being around other people that have a lot of creativity. We help each other out with fun things to do with the kids a text book only does so much, hands on is a great learning tool.
Healthcare? I'm one that will find a naturopath dr. first, I do think a MD should get that same training as an NMD. I've had the best experience with them, you have to treat the whole person. Don't get me started on that part of healthcare. I don't understand why can't the people who are working be able to get state insurance? Have it go off their income as to what to pay. Everything just seems to be costing more and more yet the services are going down with quality. Seriously we need to get back to simpler time.
I love the what the Native Americans say about the Way of the Circle
When you first arise in the morning give thanks to the Great Spirit, to the four directions, to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and to all of our relations, for the life within you and for all life around you
Remember all things are connected, all things have purpose, everything has it's place. Honor others by treating them with kindness, and consideration. Always assume that a guest is tired, cold, hungry making sure to provide him or her with the best of what you have to offer.
If you have more than you need for yourself and your family, consider performing a give away by distributing your possessions to others who are in need.
You are bound by your word, which can not be broken except by permission of the other party
Seek harmony and balance in all things, It is always important to remember where you are in relation to everything else, and to contribute to the circle in whatever way you can by being a helper and protector of life
Sharing is the best part of receiving, practice silence and patience in all things as a reflection of self control, endurance, dignity, and reverence, and inner calm
Practice modesty in all things, avoid boasting and loud behavior that attracts attention to yourself
Know the things that contribute to your well being and those things that lead to your destruction
Always ask permission and give something for everything that is received, including giving thanks for and honoring all living things.
Be aware of what is around you, what is inside of you and always show respect. Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest Elder with respect. Do not stare at others, always give a sign of greeting when passing a friend or stranger. Never criticize or talk about someone in a harmful negative way. Never touch something that belongs to someone else without permission.
Respect the privacy of every person, making sure to never intrude upon someone's quite moments or personal space. Never interfere in the affairs of another by asking questions or offering advice. Never interrupt others. In another person's home follow his or her customs rather than your own. Treat with respect all things held sacred to others whether you understand them or not
Treat Earth as your mother; give to her, protect her, honor her, show deep respect for those in the animal world, plant world, mineral world
Listen to guidance offered by all your surroundings, expect this guidance to come in the form of prayer, dreams, great solitude, and in the words and deeds of wise Elders and friends.
Listen to your heart
Learn from your experiences and always be open to new ones
Always remember to smile it's something sacred and to be shared
Live each say as it comes
This is how I am trying to live my life :)
Ok I've been on here long enough, time to go do tutoring with my son (he's not going to be happy)
Be blessed!!!
xoxoxox
Her stepdaughters were there too, after they left I noticed they didn't clean up their dishes or anything. That was a bit sad for me so I started to clear the dirty dishes off the table, scrapped and rinsed them. I noticed my son immediately did that after he was finished eating, it made my heart proud, because when he goes to someone else's home I want him to have good manners and clean up after himself or at least offer to help clean up. Plus why should my sister have to cook the meal and clean everything up?
Although when I got up this morning I noticed my son has 2 sets of dirty socks on the livingroom floor.
He's a lot like I am, he gets home and off come the shoes and socks :).
I've been feeling the need to get connected with church, community, something. I googled soup kitchens around here and I found a church that needs help when they volunteer at the soup kitchen here. Perfect that would be a good thing to do and hopefully the kids can come with to help out and see what helping each other out is. I'm one that believes in helping out but also working for what you have.
I have seen waaaaaaaaaaay too many people think because they want something they should have it handed to them. What happened for working toward the things you want? Being thankful for your family, friends, home, car, job, etc? I'm not one for the entitlement mentality.
I looked over the churches beliefs and such. There is one thing they feel the law in Az is wrong. That I fully disagree on. I lived there I know what the state is life and what it's become because of immigration issues. It has done nothing but get worse and now you see the killing. A country has rules and you have to follow them, if not then why bother. Sure come here illegally, don't pay taxes, get free healthcare, etc but we have so many that are citizens that are hurting. My grandparents came here from Italy, they worked hard and provided well for their family when they had children. They had to learn English and they paid taxes, paid for their healthcare, saved for their retirement.
I'm one of those in the lower middle class, if I didn't have a husband I would be in trouble. I do think when you looks at wages, prices of food, housing, gas, utilities, etc. It's not as easy to turn 18 and get out on your own anymore. I think we need to get back to easier times. My grandma told me 20 years ago, honey I don't know how you young kids do it, the way the prices are and the wages it's no wonder we are having more and more problems.
Seems to me that should be looked at too, is going to college the answer? I don't think so, that is just another money maker/ debt causer. How much money does it take to get the education? Most of our jobs have left the US so then you have all this debt. Yet customer service has gone way down, there doesn't seem to be pride in one's job.
I don't make a lot of money in my job but I'm giving back to the community, to humanity, how? because I take care of children. Oh wow I do contribute :)
I was a stay at home mom on and off with my 3 children. It was important to me that when they were with me, and now that they are in school I want to be home with they are done at school. It broke my heart when I had to put my son at 7 months old in daycare, I hated it. It was so hard to get off work, get him and his sister, hurry home because my oldest was home and had dinner started for me, finish dinner, help with homework, get them bathed, then bedtime. Not very much time with them. So I went part time and when they get out of school mom is there, with a yummy snack, asking how their day was, way more time with them. So then I did daycare out of my home for 5 years. I wanted to give parents piece of mind that when they went to work, their child was safe, loved, and having fun.
Now that I'm in a center, we still provide that. I love each and every child that has been in my class or is in my class. I become close with the parents to help them make life easier. I have one little boy that can be a stinker to his mom, he'll kinda cop an attitude and won't speak to her when she leaves. I tell him that makes mom sad when he's rude and doesn't say bye to mom. She's a very good mommy who does a lot for him like cook, clean, get him toys, a nice home, but most of all she gives hugs, kisses, and loves him so much.
I know saying bye is hard for kids to do at first but because we create such a fun loving atmosphere most now give hugs and kisses and we've also taught them to tell mom and dad to have a good day. What a great thing to hear your child say and you keep it as you drive to work.
So I love my job, I take great pride in it. I have had some schooling but most of my knowledge came from loving children, mothers instinct, and being around other people that have a lot of creativity. We help each other out with fun things to do with the kids a text book only does so much, hands on is a great learning tool.
Healthcare? I'm one that will find a naturopath dr. first, I do think a MD should get that same training as an NMD. I've had the best experience with them, you have to treat the whole person. Don't get me started on that part of healthcare. I don't understand why can't the people who are working be able to get state insurance? Have it go off their income as to what to pay. Everything just seems to be costing more and more yet the services are going down with quality. Seriously we need to get back to simpler time.
I love the what the Native Americans say about the Way of the Circle
When you first arise in the morning give thanks to the Great Spirit, to the four directions, to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and to all of our relations, for the life within you and for all life around you
Remember all things are connected, all things have purpose, everything has it's place. Honor others by treating them with kindness, and consideration. Always assume that a guest is tired, cold, hungry making sure to provide him or her with the best of what you have to offer.
If you have more than you need for yourself and your family, consider performing a give away by distributing your possessions to others who are in need.
You are bound by your word, which can not be broken except by permission of the other party
Seek harmony and balance in all things, It is always important to remember where you are in relation to everything else, and to contribute to the circle in whatever way you can by being a helper and protector of life
Sharing is the best part of receiving, practice silence and patience in all things as a reflection of self control, endurance, dignity, and reverence, and inner calm
Practice modesty in all things, avoid boasting and loud behavior that attracts attention to yourself
Know the things that contribute to your well being and those things that lead to your destruction
Always ask permission and give something for everything that is received, including giving thanks for and honoring all living things.
Be aware of what is around you, what is inside of you and always show respect. Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest Elder with respect. Do not stare at others, always give a sign of greeting when passing a friend or stranger. Never criticize or talk about someone in a harmful negative way. Never touch something that belongs to someone else without permission.
Respect the privacy of every person, making sure to never intrude upon someone's quite moments or personal space. Never interfere in the affairs of another by asking questions or offering advice. Never interrupt others. In another person's home follow his or her customs rather than your own. Treat with respect all things held sacred to others whether you understand them or not
Treat Earth as your mother; give to her, protect her, honor her, show deep respect for those in the animal world, plant world, mineral world
Listen to guidance offered by all your surroundings, expect this guidance to come in the form of prayer, dreams, great solitude, and in the words and deeds of wise Elders and friends.
Listen to your heart
Learn from your experiences and always be open to new ones
Always remember to smile it's something sacred and to be shared
Live each say as it comes
This is how I am trying to live my life :)
Ok I've been on here long enough, time to go do tutoring with my son (he's not going to be happy)
Be blessed!!!
xoxoxox
Saturday, September 24, 2011
ramblin on
So my mom, her friend, hubby, son, and I went to Indian Fest. It was awesome! When I was listening to the music and watching the dancing I closed my eyes and soaked it all in. We didn't stay too long because the sun was out and I was getting drained and tired. I didn't want that to happen since there was a family gathering at Uncle B's house a little later. So went home and rested a bit. It was a hilarious night to say the least. Mom and her brothers told many stories of when they grew up. Then Aunt S told stories about when she and Uncle D were dating. We had many many laughs. It was just what was needed. I had to smile that my son was in the house playing with his cousins just like I used to when I was little.
Then last weekend we had a cookout/bonfire with my sister L. Son slept over his friend's house, daughter2 brought her friend with, I warned Lauren (the friend) how nuts we are when we get together with my sister and her hubby. I found out my brother in law is in school to get his GED which he's almost done getting and he's also going to school to be a mechanic. AWESOME!!! I think that is a perfect career for him. Told him to hurry up I need my car worked on lol. Now daughter2 is a lot like me and when you get us around my brother in law we joke, cut up, etc. by the end of the night I had cramps in my cheeks and stomach from laughing so hard. I have the sweetest nephews, Mat likes to sit on my lap and give me hugs. Sister told me she wants to have a harvest like get together. I started rambling off ideas that could be done for it and she loved it. So now she wants me to help her plan it.
When I was at work this past week, I had 3 different parents tell me stories about how their child talked about me all the time. One child wasn't acting right and when told they can't stay by themselves in the preschool it was time to go. the child said "Ms. Deena will take care of me, where is she!!!" How cute.. I love all those kids so much. I see my class from last year and every time they see me they run up to me and I scoop them into my arms giving lots of hugs and kisses! They my day.
Was able to see half of Sons of Anarchy, the week before our tv was messing up and I wasn't able to see it. Needless to say I wasn't a happy camper. Had Uverse tech come out and it was the box. I love DVR, I recorded the rest of SOA and the week before. I ordered season 2 and it came in yesterday. Daughter2 wants to start watching it now. I got her hooked on that show too. So now we watch SOA and Vampire Diaries.
About a month ago I found makeup tutorials on youtube. So I've subscribed to quite a few of them so I can try it out on myself. I've been on skype with daughter1 and we'll watch them together, and then do our makeup. Speaking of her, we need to get on skype again. Daughter2 is also watching them and we went shopping to get her some makeup.
Went to see a new Dr. Monday, she is really nice and asked good questions and listened to my answers. I'm on iodine and another supplement for the adrenals. I think she is going to put me on an adrenal extract so the adrenals don't have to work so hard. She is testing my thyroid, hormones, and adrenals. Oh and food allergies. I got my blood taken which the woman doesn't know how to do it properly, she kept digging around trying to get the blood to flow again. I have no problem with my blood flowing, with as much water as I drink and how good my veins are, it comes out fast and easy :). So I had a lovely bruise for a few days. I had to take the serum and send it to the lab. Not sure how that takes but hopefully all the test results will be in in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed will I be on the road to better health THIS TIME??? I better be!!!
Well my housecleaning is calling my name, so I have to sign off for now.
blessings
Then last weekend we had a cookout/bonfire with my sister L. Son slept over his friend's house, daughter2 brought her friend with, I warned Lauren (the friend) how nuts we are when we get together with my sister and her hubby. I found out my brother in law is in school to get his GED which he's almost done getting and he's also going to school to be a mechanic. AWESOME!!! I think that is a perfect career for him. Told him to hurry up I need my car worked on lol. Now daughter2 is a lot like me and when you get us around my brother in law we joke, cut up, etc. by the end of the night I had cramps in my cheeks and stomach from laughing so hard. I have the sweetest nephews, Mat likes to sit on my lap and give me hugs. Sister told me she wants to have a harvest like get together. I started rambling off ideas that could be done for it and she loved it. So now she wants me to help her plan it.
When I was at work this past week, I had 3 different parents tell me stories about how their child talked about me all the time. One child wasn't acting right and when told they can't stay by themselves in the preschool it was time to go. the child said "Ms. Deena will take care of me, where is she!!!" How cute.. I love all those kids so much. I see my class from last year and every time they see me they run up to me and I scoop them into my arms giving lots of hugs and kisses! They my day.
Was able to see half of Sons of Anarchy, the week before our tv was messing up and I wasn't able to see it. Needless to say I wasn't a happy camper. Had Uverse tech come out and it was the box. I love DVR, I recorded the rest of SOA and the week before. I ordered season 2 and it came in yesterday. Daughter2 wants to start watching it now. I got her hooked on that show too. So now we watch SOA and Vampire Diaries.
About a month ago I found makeup tutorials on youtube. So I've subscribed to quite a few of them so I can try it out on myself. I've been on skype with daughter1 and we'll watch them together, and then do our makeup. Speaking of her, we need to get on skype again. Daughter2 is also watching them and we went shopping to get her some makeup.
Went to see a new Dr. Monday, she is really nice and asked good questions and listened to my answers. I'm on iodine and another supplement for the adrenals. I think she is going to put me on an adrenal extract so the adrenals don't have to work so hard. She is testing my thyroid, hormones, and adrenals. Oh and food allergies. I got my blood taken which the woman doesn't know how to do it properly, she kept digging around trying to get the blood to flow again. I have no problem with my blood flowing, with as much water as I drink and how good my veins are, it comes out fast and easy :). So I had a lovely bruise for a few days. I had to take the serum and send it to the lab. Not sure how that takes but hopefully all the test results will be in in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed will I be on the road to better health THIS TIME??? I better be!!!
Well my housecleaning is calling my name, so I have to sign off for now.
blessings
Saturday, September 10, 2011
9-10
Let's just say August was a month from hell. So much death and sickness. My cousin Michelle died August 1, she was only 41. Going to her memorial was bittersweet, I got to see so much family that I haven't seen in years. I sat there and remembered all the memories I have of the many get togethers we used to have. How much fun it was. What happened? Why did everyone drift apart?
My cousin Dave is in the hospital in intensive care, his organs were failing and when I got the news he took a turn for the worst I rushed to the hospital after I got out of work. I live and work within minutes of where he was. Poor Cheri was a wreck, she said the very thing I was thinking, he looks like mom. It was true Dave looked just like his mom did when she was dying. Dave's health seems to be getting better though, like Cheri said he's not out of the woods because everything is so weak but if he does some major changes he can get stronger and live longer. I'm assuming Cheri will take Dave home so she can take care of her very stubborn brother!!!
I had a friend tell me the day after Michelle's memorial she was dying from cancer. We talked about a ton of things because she is in the middle of a divorce and has no family. I mean she talked to her mom but her mom can't do anything for her she has major health problems and is blind. Renee my best friend knows L. The 3 of us have been talking a lot since March. Then L's mom friend requested us on facebook and we accepted. Next thing I know L is telling her oldest daughter she is sick again and this time she's not going to make it. she even told her mom, well she had me tell her mom. I totally forgot L's mom has a great ear and can tell when you lie to her....
L would tell me of these many procedures she had done but yet she would drive herself home? Not even possible. I would tell her to schedule her appointments so I could go with her, any time I would have someone go with her or I would be able to, she cancelled the appointment or had been in the emergency room. Things didn't add up. I told Renee I didn't want to sound like a terrible person but I think L is lying.
L has had a history of doing something like this before. It wasn't saying she was dying but in the past she's been pregnant and miscarried...lie, raped by some boy she really had a crush on....lie, molested by her dad....changed story to stepdad.....lie, dad traded her for drugs...lie
I just explained how my cousin Michelle died, cousin Dave is in ICU, plus I was getting my classroom ready for school to start, A serious issue came up with my youngest daughter, Renee came into town for her class reunion, my own health issues. I had a ton on my plate to say the least. I get a text from L saying I guess no one wants to see me no one is responding to my text. Why am I bothering to fight I should just die now. WHAT? Really? L knew the tons of things going on in my life and she is sending me the poor pity no one is paying attention to me text? I responded back, did you seriously just text me that?
Renee calls me right when I get out of work, telling me she had talked to L's mom and L was bashing me to her mom saying I abandoned her, I didn't do this I didn't do that, etc. I was furious. So I got on facebook and pretty much told her I warned her about that behavior before and I was done. I'm a firm believer in you teach people how to treat you and she crossed my line back in July and I told her if she wanted to be my friend not to ever come at me that way again. Well she did and I was done.
Am I coldhearted for that? I really don't care anymore. I have enough going on in my life that I can't have her lies and drama. I have never ever fought with a friend before and her behavior is way off the wall. I feel bad for her and her children but with the stress she brings to the friendship I can't have it.
My adrenals are acting up big time and I'm struggling to take care of me and my family day to day some times.
Then September 3 cousin Nicole died, she is Michelle's sister. When my mom called and told me I was instantly numb. I found out what happened and it's been an emotional roller coaster since. It's not heard of to lose two children in a month, my poor Aunt and Uncle are just devastated!! Nicole left behind 3 babies, 12, 3, and 18 months. They all have different fathers and my uncle wants to keep them. Nicole lived with her parents and they helped her take care of those children. I saw Hannah break down at the memorial and then Olivia asked where's my mommy....OMG that hurt my heart so much, the tears just wouldn't stop coming. I remember when Nicole was born and now she's gone? Why? Grant is only 18 months old, he'll never know his mommy.
Having 3 children myself I couldn't imagine the pain my aunt and uncle are going through. My heart hurts for them. I wish there was something I could do for them but I know the best thing I can do is pray for them and love them.
Doing all that crying makes for some puffy eyes.....but what it also does is drain me.
So today we are going to the Native American Indian Fest and then we are getting together with the many family members. My mom is going to love that before she has to go back to Arizona. I have to say I think she should move back. She and I have always been extremely close and we talk everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day. Having her here to go out and do things together, or just sit in the living room and talk is awesome!!!
That's why for me when my youngest daughter is 18 I don't know if I will move back to AZ I love it there but I have a ton of family here and it's important for me to raise my children around them...I'll still have my son. Which I'm trying to get my oldest back here too. I hate not being able to see her, it's been over a year. Ok i know that's selfish but in all honesty she is thinking about coming back too :)
I love my children what can I say I want them around me, I feel complete when they do. I have a great time with them all here. We do lots of laughing that is for sure. My youngest daughter is hilarious we have an odd way of joking around. Then my son gets in it and I usually end up crying because I'm laughing so hard. That happens all the time.
See laughter is great medicine!!
So now I'm thinking about doing a family reunion, I'm going to talk to my cousin Jill and Joan about it and see if they would be willing to help me.
I have animal medicine cards and the other day I drew the prairie dog, it basically is telling me to retreat and take care of my body and replenish it's health and energy. Is that not exactly what I need or what? Messages come in many forms I learned that long ago.
Oh yea then a few weeks ago a beautiful fox ran out in front of me right by my work. the lil fellow was trotting down the road a bit trying to get to this wooded part. he was a large fox
Family is so very important, stop the bull, and look at how much love and support you can have for each other.
be blessed
My cousin Dave is in the hospital in intensive care, his organs were failing and when I got the news he took a turn for the worst I rushed to the hospital after I got out of work. I live and work within minutes of where he was. Poor Cheri was a wreck, she said the very thing I was thinking, he looks like mom. It was true Dave looked just like his mom did when she was dying. Dave's health seems to be getting better though, like Cheri said he's not out of the woods because everything is so weak but if he does some major changes he can get stronger and live longer. I'm assuming Cheri will take Dave home so she can take care of her very stubborn brother!!!
I had a friend tell me the day after Michelle's memorial she was dying from cancer. We talked about a ton of things because she is in the middle of a divorce and has no family. I mean she talked to her mom but her mom can't do anything for her she has major health problems and is blind. Renee my best friend knows L. The 3 of us have been talking a lot since March. Then L's mom friend requested us on facebook and we accepted. Next thing I know L is telling her oldest daughter she is sick again and this time she's not going to make it. she even told her mom, well she had me tell her mom. I totally forgot L's mom has a great ear and can tell when you lie to her....
L would tell me of these many procedures she had done but yet she would drive herself home? Not even possible. I would tell her to schedule her appointments so I could go with her, any time I would have someone go with her or I would be able to, she cancelled the appointment or had been in the emergency room. Things didn't add up. I told Renee I didn't want to sound like a terrible person but I think L is lying.
L has had a history of doing something like this before. It wasn't saying she was dying but in the past she's been pregnant and miscarried...lie, raped by some boy she really had a crush on....lie, molested by her dad....changed story to stepdad.....lie, dad traded her for drugs...lie
I just explained how my cousin Michelle died, cousin Dave is in ICU, plus I was getting my classroom ready for school to start, A serious issue came up with my youngest daughter, Renee came into town for her class reunion, my own health issues. I had a ton on my plate to say the least. I get a text from L saying I guess no one wants to see me no one is responding to my text. Why am I bothering to fight I should just die now. WHAT? Really? L knew the tons of things going on in my life and she is sending me the poor pity no one is paying attention to me text? I responded back, did you seriously just text me that?
Renee calls me right when I get out of work, telling me she had talked to L's mom and L was bashing me to her mom saying I abandoned her, I didn't do this I didn't do that, etc. I was furious. So I got on facebook and pretty much told her I warned her about that behavior before and I was done. I'm a firm believer in you teach people how to treat you and she crossed my line back in July and I told her if she wanted to be my friend not to ever come at me that way again. Well she did and I was done.
Am I coldhearted for that? I really don't care anymore. I have enough going on in my life that I can't have her lies and drama. I have never ever fought with a friend before and her behavior is way off the wall. I feel bad for her and her children but with the stress she brings to the friendship I can't have it.
My adrenals are acting up big time and I'm struggling to take care of me and my family day to day some times.
Then September 3 cousin Nicole died, she is Michelle's sister. When my mom called and told me I was instantly numb. I found out what happened and it's been an emotional roller coaster since. It's not heard of to lose two children in a month, my poor Aunt and Uncle are just devastated!! Nicole left behind 3 babies, 12, 3, and 18 months. They all have different fathers and my uncle wants to keep them. Nicole lived with her parents and they helped her take care of those children. I saw Hannah break down at the memorial and then Olivia asked where's my mommy....OMG that hurt my heart so much, the tears just wouldn't stop coming. I remember when Nicole was born and now she's gone? Why? Grant is only 18 months old, he'll never know his mommy.
Having 3 children myself I couldn't imagine the pain my aunt and uncle are going through. My heart hurts for them. I wish there was something I could do for them but I know the best thing I can do is pray for them and love them.
Doing all that crying makes for some puffy eyes.....but what it also does is drain me.
So today we are going to the Native American Indian Fest and then we are getting together with the many family members. My mom is going to love that before she has to go back to Arizona. I have to say I think she should move back. She and I have always been extremely close and we talk everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day. Having her here to go out and do things together, or just sit in the living room and talk is awesome!!!
That's why for me when my youngest daughter is 18 I don't know if I will move back to AZ I love it there but I have a ton of family here and it's important for me to raise my children around them...I'll still have my son. Which I'm trying to get my oldest back here too. I hate not being able to see her, it's been over a year. Ok i know that's selfish but in all honesty she is thinking about coming back too :)
I love my children what can I say I want them around me, I feel complete when they do. I have a great time with them all here. We do lots of laughing that is for sure. My youngest daughter is hilarious we have an odd way of joking around. Then my son gets in it and I usually end up crying because I'm laughing so hard. That happens all the time.
See laughter is great medicine!!
So now I'm thinking about doing a family reunion, I'm going to talk to my cousin Jill and Joan about it and see if they would be willing to help me.
I have animal medicine cards and the other day I drew the prairie dog, it basically is telling me to retreat and take care of my body and replenish it's health and energy. Is that not exactly what I need or what? Messages come in many forms I learned that long ago.
Oh yea then a few weeks ago a beautiful fox ran out in front of me right by my work. the lil fellow was trotting down the road a bit trying to get to this wooded part. he was a large fox
Family is so very important, stop the bull, and look at how much love and support you can have for each other.
be blessed
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
7-5-11
Had a good time with my family yesterday. We had a cookout over my sister's house, her husband took off on a drinking binge again. I don't know how she handles it, 21 times he's done this in the past 10 years. I couldn't do it. My brother says it continues because there isn't any consequences and I agree. I hate seeing her get hurt constantly but until she does something about it nothing changes :(.
My mom is in town, it's been nice being able to sit up late or getting up early and chatting with her. I don't know what I'm going to do when my youngest dd is 18 if I'll stay here or go back to AZ. I miss the weather like crazy but at the same time I have more family that is here. I enjoy the family gatherings and seeing my nieces and nephews growing up.
Got my blood drawn today to see where my thyroid is at. PLEASE let the RT3 be lower or gone :) that would be so awesome. I have to say since I started on the t3 only and I've been tanning. I feel soooo much better. I'm also cutting back on my portions and I hope that will make a big difference. when mom and I were talking about her losing weight she said she only eats twice a day. She had never eaten 3 meals a day and when she started that's when she gained weight. I can see it. I remember I didn't eat breakfast in high school and I ate a small lunch and then dinner. I can only try to see what my body is going to do now. I'm tired of having this extra weight on me. I don't want to worry about it or what I look like. I want to feel good and look good too.
It's hot outside today but I still took the kids outside to play in the sand for a half hour. I took my shoes and socks off and walked around in the grass too :). I hear it's healing and good for you. I knew there was a reason I always ran around bare footed as a child :):):).
I better get my tushy in gear and get some cleaning done. ta ta for now.
love and light
Saturday, April 9, 2011
4-9-11
I've been on the t3 for a month now and I think it's working!!! I have to say I'm questioning life a lot. I don't like how I feel, look, etc. I know very well if I don't like it I have to change it. See where I'm at an get a plan going. How do I get my swag back? What's my purpose? What's my rhythm? Where's my music?
I'm a very smart woman and I need to dig deep to find those answers. I have to surround myself with positive thoughts, people, etc.
I found this picture that I will be ordering very soon to hang in my home.
Living Life
Life is not a race, but indeed a journey. Be honest, work hard, be choosy. Say Thank you, I love you, and great job to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it's not accidental- search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive it frees the soul. Take time for yourself- plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for the day, enjoy the moment
Bonnie L. Mohar
I LOVE it, doesn't it feel good to read all that? So when I see it each day I'm going to constantly be reminded. I've come far in my life to being more positive, letting things roll off my back and not taking them personally. I feel myself going backwards a little lately so that will stop right now. Only growth.
I'm amazed to see the United States being so divided. It's very sad, I hear about socialism and communism and I honestly don't understand why someone would want the US to be either. We need more light to surround us. I remember Jesus washing the disciples feet, I know people who are good servants to others. What about other religions that talk about helping others. More and more I see around here too many having the mindset that everything is owed to them. I feel I deserve good in my life but I look to myself to get it, attract it. I help others in many forms whether its financially, giving them a hug, a listening ear, encouragement, a prayer, food. It truly is a wonderful thing to give back
Each and every day I give all of myself to my job. I teach and love 14 3 year olds. I see them more than their parents so I show them love, respect, to be polite, to have humor, to share, etc. I want to make a difference not only in the children's lives but their parents. So when the parents are working they know their son or daughter is with a teacher that truly loves them and will teach them values.
Being a mom when my children think I owe them anything it makes me step back. I brought them into the world, I've loved them, clothed them, fed them, taught them, spent many hours tending to their needs when they were sick or when they were heartbroken or when they made honor roll. I've tried to teach them to be helpful, understanding, to keep their word. And to have an attitude that is rotten it saddens me. Of course I let it be known and what they want will not happen unless they do it.
What is happening out there? Not sure it's a good thing.
I find myself having to be silent, praying, meditating, and filling myself with God's white light. Do I want to see everyone fed? clothed? loved? sure do but what is happening all over the world isn't the right way to go about it.
Signing off for now, till next time, be blessed
Namaste
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
2-9-11
Well got the results of my rt3 and leptin tests and both are elevated. The Dr. was trying to tell me that staying on Armour is the best treatment for the rt3 uh no it isn't from what I've researched I need to be off of t4 for awhile. The nurse called me this morning to discuss the results, so we'll see what the Dr. has to say now. We are playing phone tag at the moment lol. So far the Dr. has been really good about researching and listening to me, I pray she continues it. I don't want to find a new Dr.!
Something has to change, I don't like the way I feel or look. I know once I get on the right meds and I get some energy back I will be able to exercise. I'm really trying to keep the stress down and let me tell you it's challenging at times with 2 daughters that make stupid choices. My oldest decided on New Year's Eve she was going to do X. I get a phone call from my daughter on a monday telling me she and her friend had gone to the ER because they had bad stomach cramps and diarrhea. I didn't know what she had taken and she wasn't too clear. I texted my friend and was telling her about what happened with dd#1 and that when my friend R told me dd#1 probably had done X. WHAT!?!?!?
Come to find out my mother knew about it Sunday and took the girls to the ER. I'm not happy about that one, I don't care if my dd is "grown" and knowing my mom she probably felt it wasn't her place to tell me. The hell it isn't!!! She told dd that she better call and tell me.
So dd#1 and I were texting and I was furious especially when I found out X has meth in it. She should be glad we weren't on the phone talking or in person or I would've ripped her a new one. In text it can be hard to tell someone's demeanor and trust me mine wasn't pretty. I needed to calm down before I talked to her. I didn't want to get into a fight and cause a big wedge but yet I needed to get through to her.
I can't force her to not do that stuff again but I won't sit back and not help educate her correctly and hope she will take my guidance. I told her how scared and disappointed I was. She tried to tell me that she's done research....OH PLEASE stop being naive!!! So I told her what I know from people who have done it and a nurse friend of mine. I think she is more open to hear me.
Then dd#2 has been smoking pot and drinking a few times. Hanging around some people that don't make good decisions. It didn't help that my exh gave her WAAAAAAAY too much freedom and when I was telling my mom about what was going on I had to stop her from complaining about my exh and tell her it won't do any good, the focus is on now and how to go forward and not make the same mistakes. I'm very thankful my exh and I are communicating and parenting so much better. It makes everything so much easier.
I have definitely been doing a lot of praying for my girls. I know we all have our lessons to be learned but it doesn't have to be such a hard or distractive way.
It was cute though last friday I was on the phone with dd#1 and I had her on speaker so dd#2 and i could all talk. We laughed so much. DD#1 tried to tell DD#2 to not do stupid things, stop smoking etc. So #2 tells her sister I'll stop smoking if you do LOL. Now let me tell you I have never found cigarettes on #2 or they would be thrown away. When she is with me she doesn't smoke. I look through her things to see if she's hiding them around here and so far nothing.
I got my shipment of incense from matchlessgifts.com. I tried the temptress one, winter solstice. I really like them, I have a ton to burn and can't wait. I love the way these smell!
well i have a nasty headache and need to lay down. Until next time blessings, love, and light!
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